Thursday, May 5, 2011

Underneath the Load

Holy smokes, people, h.o.l.y. s.m.o.k.e.s! This is one of those weeks where I can barely keep my head above water. One of those weeks where I don't know if I'm coming or going. One of those weeks where, as a mommy, I feel I have a lot riding on my head. If I am able to accomplish ALL of the tasks set before me(and they have to be perfectly delivered), then I get a cute check mark in the gradebook of parenthood; however, if I make one misstep, one small flub, I am doomed to mommy duncedom... and that is a cold and lonely place.
Here's a lineup of my week:
May 1 - Dad's birthday; May 2 - student portfolios, class lunch; May 3 - kids' baseball game; May 4 - Muffins with Mom at Summit's school, Summit's school birthday party, Midlands Tech grades due; May 5 - Matt's parents and Kelley Rose arrive, kids' last baseball game, pizza party; May 6 - Ella's zoo field trip, Katie, Justin, and Dean arrive; May 7 - Summit's 4th birthday!, early cookout party, Dad, Kathy, and Summit's celebration at the Rusty Anchor with brother's band; May 8 - Mother's Day!  Phew!

Perhaps it doesn't seem like much, but throw in the add-ons that accompany everything, and it's mayhem at its finest. Grade tests, essays, course outcomes and final grades, 3 birthday cakes, gifts, food prep and cook, 2 major (4 minor) grocery trips (plus putting ALL of that crap away), laundry, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, early mornings, late nights, running all around... and managing to attend to all regular mommy duties.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love this kind of stuff. It makes me feel like Wonder Woman. I work best when there's a lot going on... when there's almost too much to do. I find a calm in the middle of the storm, and it relaxes me... almost like a valium (however, I will  still take one of those). There's a part in a Widespread Panic song that goes "Sometimes underneath the load is where I show my best." That's me.
But, I gotta say, when I say 'almost to much to do,' I mean almost. When I'm working on the edge, I try to be super nice to everyone. I may be thinking, "Get the efff outta my way," but I try to say nice things and speak in a calm voice and be good. (I can be a little snappy and bossy at times. I'm working on that.) For the most part, Matt and the kids know that they have a situation where I'm doing a lot of stuff for other people (them) and their best move is to ride the wave behind me rather than surf in front of me.

Unfortunately, not everyone else knows that. Not the people in line in the store, not the clueless, instigating jackholes who drive slower when they see me in a hurry, not the feet-draggers who leave their grocery carts in the middle of the aisle so I have to turn and go the other way when they ignore the words, "Excuse me." And not the lady on the phone at Publix whose bad attitude really sucked when I was trying to order a cake. But, I rose above that one and am proud of myself for not letting her get to me. (Perhaps part of it was that I knew that calling her out may result in getting a unicorn instead of a dinosaur on Summit's cake.) In fact, I rose above most of them. Maybe not the guy on the road, but he wasn't anything a finger and a blessing couldn't cure. (Thank goodness Summit was watching a movie with headphones during that little drive.)
Unicorn Dinosaur Simple Signature Cake
Still today, I've got mommying, cleaning, shopping, sheets, gym, a trophy and pizzas to get, baseball game, and pizza party. Matt's parents are on the way, and we are all very excited. I know how many families are struggling to live day-to-day, and I know that this pales in comparison. I know that my workload is way less than so many other mothers, and I try to remember that life could be far more hectic. But, this is my own little frenzied world, and I'm trying to enjoy it. So, here we are, in the middle of the metaphorical storm and I think everything's going alright. In fact, I'm pretty sure I see a double rainbow.

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