This probably comes as no big surprise, but I am not a fan of couponing. Rather, I just can't flipping do it. Maybe I don't have the intelligence level to wrap my head around it. I don't know. Whatever the case may be, I am literally incapable of couponing.
Now, this is something that I've tried my hand at on several occasions. My interest has been piqued when I've heard my friends bragging about how they saved $249 on $250 worth of groceries. And let's be honest here, saving money on groceries that could be spent on things like, um, ME is definitely motivational. So, I've listened to them explain the ridiculously intricate ins and outs of getting the little clipped golden tickets to work for them. They talk extensively about some supernatural woman, often referred to just in pronoun form as "she" and "her," of the famous Southern Savers website and how she has couponing seminars to teach people how to be just like her. Apparently, Publix is the best store for deals, and, according to one of my BFFs, Kim, you can totally work the system at CVS (by buying diabetes test strips of all things!).
My problem is that all of this Southern Savers, Publix, CVS business is not so simple. There are so many steps and procedures and maneuvers and hoops to jump through that I get lost going from A to B. I've gone to "her" website and spent time trying to find coupons and great deals and 2 for 1 or free or whatever. One day, I parked myself in front of the computer for 6 hours, determined to figure the whole thing out. When it was all said and done, I had a headache, sweat-soaked hair, a sore back, toilet paper coming out of my mouth that had turned into a potty, and a coupon for salsa. That's it.
No matter how many times and how many people try to dissect the world of coupons to me, I remain ignorantly confused. It's gotten to the point that any time someone mentions the very idea of saving money on groceries, I automatically get a sharp ringing in my ears and my brain is shocked with several volts of electricity before it shuts down. It's as if my mind has a forcefield surrounding it that rejects the smallest notion of learning how to get more bang for my buck at the grocery store. To combat this, I've offered some of my coupon-savvy pals a cut of the money they save me if they do the shopping in my place.
I suppose it goes without saying that one of the most maddening things for me when I go on a major food shopping trip is getting in line behind one of those women with a binder the size of California that holds a million dollars worth of coupons. First of all, they take sooooo long to check out. Secondly, I cannot stand hearing them get all excited about how they didn't pay a dime for their loot and they got money back after buying a week's worth of groceries. And, as I'm getting ready to pay my bill, and the cashier asks, "Do you have any coupons?" I can only hang my head in shame.
Whatever. So I pay more for my household necessities. Whatever.