She used it!

Last week, my girl had to take the MAP test at school. MAP is an acronym for measure of academic performance, and all second graders in South Carolina are required to take the test twice a year. Ella's school also has the first graders participate. The morning of the test, she was a little nervous, so I told her not to worry and just do her best.

Because she puts a lot of pressure on herself to do well in school, she expectedly got a bit frazzled. To catch her breath, she went for a bathroom break and she used it! Not the bathroom. No, something so much more meaningful. (Of course, not peeing your pants during a test and in front of your friends is important.) But she used the mantra. Our mantra. The one I've been working into her head since she was 2. The one where she says, "I am strong, intelligent, independent, kind-hearted, and beautiful, and I can be whatever I want to be when I grow up." That one. Those words. Those things that I've always wanted her to know about herself.

Seriously!

When I asked her how her test went, and she told me about using her mantra, well, people, I felt like I hit the freaking jackpot! Ahhhh. Validation. As a mom, and like so many other mothers, I am totally vulnerable to affections of guilt, inadequacy, and failure. We constantly feel like we don't do enough. We are too hard on our kids. We don't provide the appropriate love, nurture, support. I am extremely aware of the fact that I cannot keep up with the Joneses of the mommy world, and I worry that my style of mothering will inevitably land my kids into years of therapy. (But really, who doesn't need some form of therapy? For real... bring it on. I know I could use some.)

But on that day, in that moment, when my daughter told me that she had put into practice something that I hope will quell the need for decades worth of couch talk with a shrink, I was absolutely overwhelmed. It may seem like a small thing to some, but, for me, it was huge. It means that I'm not completely screwing my Ella up. She's taking some good (and not just the crazy) with her. I am teaching her positive things. I am helping her grow into a strong, self-sufficient little lady. I am so proud of her...so proud...so thankful for the opportunity to raise her and love her.

Not surprisingly, she rocked that test out!