His small hand.

These past couple of days have been tough. Really tough. I don't know how it got to this point, but when I realized it had, it brought me to my knees.

Yesterday morning, it hit me. As my little boy, my little guy, my Summy Poopers slipped his hand into mine on our way into his classroom. His small hand. That small action, which has become so commonplace, so much like home...it reached up for mine as it has every time we've ventured into his school for the past three years...and it pushed forth a million and a half heart flutters, a million and a half heart aches. It was the end of the road. The end of his time in preschool.

I'm not one of those moms who likes to drop her kids off at school. First of all, I don't like waiting in car pool lines. Most importantly, I love taking the time to walk them inside their classrooms. I love it. When Ella started kindergarten, that was one of the hardest parts for me...knowing that walking the kids to class is frowned upon and that it would end that brief moment of every morning that I loved so much with her. But, it made me cherish it that much more with Summit. And, so, every day I've walked him to his classroom. It's a small space of time that belongs to just him and I. A small walk that we have with his hand in mine and us just being together. I relish in that moment. And, I relish in watching him write his name to sign in and telling him "I love you" one last time before I leave him for preschool and hearing him say it back to me. So small, but so big. So sweet.

I know next year I won't get those. Today, my baby boy graduated from preschool. From beginning to end, the experience was perfect. Along the way, he has made some super friends, and had some super experiences. I couldn't be more pleased with how well he was taught and loved by all of his teachers, especially Mrs. Dawn and Mrs. Dani, who were Ella's teachers three years before Summit. Truly, they are outstanding. Outstanding. I will miss them as much as Summit has told me he will.

But, I'm so happy for him, so proud of all he has learned and all the ways he has developed. The director, Jane, said this moment was bittersweet for us parents, and she couldn't be more spot on. I feel today like my heart has been torn into a million pieces for the moments that I won't get back...but I also feel so very fortunate to have a child who is growing into such an amazing person.

Congratulations, Summit! I love you the most!