Saturday, December 31, 2011

It shows us what the light looks like.

All over the news and from lots of friends and family, I keep hearing declarations of how happy people are to see 2011 peace out, how much it sucked, how they can't wait to start 2012. And, I kinda understand. It wasn't an easy year. There was a lot about the year that was kinda sucky. When I think back on it, I see that there were probably more major struggles than major triumphs in our own little world. There were things that had me downright worn out physically, mentally, and emotionally. However, for some reason, I don't see all of these things as downright terribly awful. Some of them, yes. But, some things kinda had a glass half-full deal going on.

To be sure, I'm most certainly NOT a typically half-full person, either. Let's just get that out of the way right now. I often take small things and make them into humongous things and assume the absolute possible worst about situations. It's exhausting, but I think it has to do with the voodoo in me. It's just how I roll.

So, I'm not sure where this half-full stuff is coming from, but some of the crappy parts of the past year have taught me some things about life and perseverance and not knowing and not being able to control every aspect of my existence. And, those last two might be my biggest things: not knowing and control, because there was A LOT of stuff about which I was uncertain and that was way out of my realm of control, and that really drove me bananas. More than that, though, it put me in my place in this whole game of life. Realizing that I don't have complete governance over everything, that my influence is limited, helped me let go of some of my neurotic ways. It helped me relax a little. Not a lot, but at least a little.

It taught me that even if I don't know exactly what's going to happen next, even if I can't control the exact direction of life, things work out. For better or worse, they work out, and what I can do is groove along and do the best me with the life that I have. I learned that strife is just part of every year, some more than others, but that the best feelings come when you conquer that which could have possibly taken you down. And, most of all, I learned that the beauty in my life is much more vivid when I've seen the ugly.

The boys from Widespread Panic sing a song called "Pleas" that always pops in my head when life gets really difficult. Part of the song goes, "Now, you can't have the good until you've shared the bad," and I think it couldn't be more true. There's wisdom in the darkness that helps us appreciate the light. It shows us what the light looks like. So, that's how I'm going to leave this year: thankful for the good and the bad.

Happy 2011! Happy 2012!

Here are thy lyrics for that song.

Verse 1:
They say turn the bright lights on
And there you'll find the truth
Here, open up this book
And now you'll find the proof
It feels like a can of worms
Keep the lid on tight, and they say
Chorus:
   Don't let it get too bright  (x3)
   No not this time

Verse 2:
They tell me it takes sorrow, boy
To help you feel the joy
They say it takes poverty
To let you love a toy
Now you can't have the good
Until you've shared the bad

Chorus:
Don't let it get too sad (x3)
No, not this time, time

Verse 3:
They say it takes hardship, boy
To let you love the rest
Sometimes underneath the load
Is where I show my best
Go, put your work clothes on
Go and leave your mark
And they say

Chorus:
Don't let it get too dark (x3)
No, not this time

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