Good.

So, today kind of pissed me off. It didn't start off well. It didn't help that last night sucked, too. I guess the suckiness of the night before just wore on into this morning, and I couldn't find my way off the sucky train for a good portion of the front side of the day. Little things continually grated on my nerves. Continually.

Such as:

• The whining. The constant whining. Whining without end. From both of the kids. From Ella it's worse, because I can't even understand the whiny words since she won't drop the marbles out of her mouth that the surgeon installed in place of her tonsils.
• The mess. The constant mess. I am beginning to think that the incessant replacement of my clean with their (the kids' and Matt's) mess is intentional and they're trying to kill me.
• The drivers. The constant moronic drivers in South Carolina. GET OFF THE ROAD! (And stay out of the voting booths, please.)
• Politicians who won't compromise. You know who you are, and you sons of bitches suck. Stop being such whiny, self-serving, personal-agenda-ridden jerks. Get it together.
• My feeling sorry for myself. I'm over it. Over myself. So I've gotten some crappy news and things haven't been easy. So. That's life. Tough.
• Trying to give myself pep talks and remind myself that things could be more difficult and that lots of people have it way worse. I know this, and I'm starting to think that this attitude isn't validating my sad heart, which isn't helping me feel better... which makes me realize I need to find some balance with the previous bullet.
• The gray hairs. Oh. My. God. What the hell is this? Because of my butthole little brother's observations, I went on a search, and found a serious patch of silver. Thanks a lot, age. I guess I have another item to add to the monthly budget, because those puppies are NOT welcome on this head.

There. I said it. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeech.

So, in the midst of my bad mood, when I couldn't help but see the stupid side of everything, I let some tears fall out of the old eyes. And when I pulled it together enough to climb out of the hole that I'd dug for myself, I saw my sweet girl... the beautiful, precious child that I grew inside of me... and I grabbed onto her. And I saw a different perspective, young and fresh and alive and not jaded. And a big bumble bee landed on top of the aqua water of the pool for a drink, and I thought that it must be nice for that big bumble bee to do that. And then a pair of humming birds flew just a few feet above us and playfully chased each other for a few moments. And then I looked at my girl, and when I saw her look at me, I asked what it felt like to have the sky in her eyes. And, as if this was a perfectly normal question...as if she knows that she does have the sky in her eyes...she said, "Good."

Good. Thank you, Ella.